My name is Alfie Coe, I’m 22 years old, and like many people my age, I’ve had moments where confidence felt out of reach. In your early 20s, it’s easy to feel behind, unsure of yourself, or constantly comparing your life to others online. Confidence doesn’t magically appear one day. It’s built through small, consistent actions.
If you lack confidence right now, the good news is this: confidence is a skill, not a personality trait. Anyone can build it. Here are five practical steps that can genuinely help you grow your confidence over time.
1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Everyone Else
One of the biggest confidence killers is comparison. Social media makes it seem like everyone your age has life figured out: perfect bodies, money, relationships, and careers. What you don’t see are the struggles, doubts, and failures behind the scenes.
Confidence starts to grow when you focus on your own progress instead of someone else’s highlight reel. Measure yourself against who you were six months ago, not against strangers online. Everyone is on a different timeline, and there is no “correct” pace for success.
A simple habit: limit social media scrolling and use that time to work on something that improves your own life, even in a small way.
2. Keep Promises to Yourself
Confidence is built through trust, and the most important person to trust is yourself. Every time you say you’ll do something and don’t follow through, you weaken that trust. Every time you do what you said you would do, you strengthen it.
Start small. Tell yourself you’ll go for a 10-minute walk, read five pages, or wake up at a certain time. Then do it. These small wins compound over time and slowly change how you see yourself.
Confidence grows when you prove to yourself that you’re reliable.
3. Get Comfortable Being Uncomfortable
Most people lack confidence because they avoid discomfort. But confidence doesn’t come from staying safe. It comes from facing fear and realising you can handle it.
This might mean speaking up in a group, going to the gym alone, starting a conversation, or applying for something you feel unqualified for. You don’t need to feel confident before you act. Action creates confidence, not the other way around.
Each time you do something uncomfortable and survive it, your brain learns that fear isn’t dangerous. That’s how confidence is built.
4. Take Care of Your Body
Your physical state affects your mental state more than you might realise. Poor sleep, no movement, and bad nutrition can drain confidence fast.
You don’t need a perfect routine. Start with basics: move your body regularly, eat reasonably well, and get enough sleep. Exercise in particular is powerful because it improves posture, energy, and mood, all of which affect how confident you feel.
When you respect your body, your self-respect grows too.
5. Accept That Confidence Comes From Repetition
Confidence isn’t a one-time achievement. It’s built through repetition. You don’t become confident after one good day or lose it after one bad one.
Some days you’ll feel strong, other days insecure. That’s normal. What matters is continuing to show up, take action, and learn from mistakes.
Confidence grows quietly in the background when you keep going, even when you doubt yourself.
Final Thoughts
If you’re 22 and lacking confidence, you’re not broken. You’re human. Confidence is something you build step by step, not something you’re born with.
Start small. Be patient with yourself. And remember: the version of you that feels confident in the future is built by the actions you take today.